Having A Bad Day...Week

I'm really struggling today, more like this whole week. I've been pretty good at being positive. Things aren't ideal but they are working. Then, out of the blue, the crap hits the fan. How much can one person take. I know that Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle but I am at the breaking point. Sarah's birthday is coming up, we will need winter clothes for the kids and then there is Christmas, which is supposed to be a happy time of year. But at this moment, it won't be. We have no money at all. How can I wake up Christmas morning and see my kids faces when they realize there is nothing under the tree. I try to have faith. I try to believe things are gonna get better but i have been thinking this was since Oct. 2009 and things are not better. We are at a stand still. What am I to do? I feel myself being upset at Nate. Wondering why he can't take care of us. I know it's not his fault and that it is satan. I have so much stress on me that it is taking it's toll. We have another baby on the way and we can't even buy the baby diapers. Sorry this is so depressing. It is one of those days. It will be better tomorrow. I just needed to wallow for a bit.

Change Happens

Life is all about change. The change may be bad, and it may be good. Either way, you go through change in your life. It is how we deal with change that matters. I have definitely learned this to be true. A lot of change has happened to our family. I will start at the beginning. Nate got laid off, I got a job. I got fired, Nate got hired. He is making half of what he was so now we have a home modification, creditors calling us, monetary assistance for our house payment, food stamps because we can't afford to eat, doing odd jobs just so we can get our kids clothes and on top of all of this, Heavenly Father thought it would be funny to see how we would handle having another baby. He does have a since of humor.
I have always been the type of girl that likes to have a plan a,b,c for when things go wrong. I like to see an end result and think I can make things happen. I have been humbled I can tell you that. I have not relied on my Heavenly Father like I should have. I have been prideful.
You would not think all of this would be a blessing, but it really has been. Things are not ideal right now or what I think ideal should be, but we have been taken care of. We have been able to feed out children and stay in our home. We have become closer as a family and I have learned AGAIN that I cannot do things on my own. Nate has a job, I am able to get Medicaid for me and the kids. We will have another precious baby to call our own. We are all healthy. So yeah things pretty much suck on the worldly side, but on the side that counts, the spiritual side, we are very prosperous at the moment. And I plan on keeping it that way.
I have very wonderful friends and family and am so grateful for that. Kristina Carter's mom is even concerned about me and I have only met her one time. In that one time I could tell what a wonderful lady she was. So this post is partly for her to let her know things are going great, and partly for me to write it down and say everything will be fine.