Angels

This is a post for all of the angels in our lives, for there are many. I don't know all of their names but I do know some. Kristina and Cam Carter, Kristina's mom, Cheryl and Bill Porter, a girl from Mississippi who I do not know,Brooke, my family and all who have done things for us anonymously . I want to say how grateful we are for your love and support through this bump in the road we call our lives. I have never felt so cared for especially from people who are not our family. I know Heavenly Father has a plan, and lucky for us you have become part of that plan. We love you very much. Thanks!!!!

How much more?

Nate has lost his job in Oct. of last year and he applies to at least 3 jobs a day, so it's not like there isn't any jobs out there. They are just not hiring my husband. Is this the life that we are meant to have? We cannot take care of our kids and we are having another one. How depressing to know that your kids need jeans and you have no money to even go to the D.I. to get any. We decided that if we wanted Heavenly Father's blessings, we needed to do our part. We started paying tithing again(which is very hard to do when you have no money). We started praying and reading scriptures as a family more, making it more of a habit, having family home evening...etc. So far, what I'm looking at is we are still where we were months ago and having to consider renting our home(if someone will rent it, we can't even sell our treadmill, so to get someone to rent...I don't know)and live with hopefully Nate's family. This is not where I saw our lives. Do you know how much it hurts when your kids want to do something and you can't or when you go to the check out to pay for a $4 item and your debit card is declined? It sucks. I'm trying to stay positive, but week after week after month after month it starts to wear on you. Poor Nate thinks he's not good enough but the kicker is if he was given the chance, no one would work harder or do a better job.

Having A Bad Day...Week

I'm really struggling today, more like this whole week. I've been pretty good at being positive. Things aren't ideal but they are working. Then, out of the blue, the crap hits the fan. How much can one person take. I know that Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle but I am at the breaking point. Sarah's birthday is coming up, we will need winter clothes for the kids and then there is Christmas, which is supposed to be a happy time of year. But at this moment, it won't be. We have no money at all. How can I wake up Christmas morning and see my kids faces when they realize there is nothing under the tree. I try to have faith. I try to believe things are gonna get better but i have been thinking this was since Oct. 2009 and things are not better. We are at a stand still. What am I to do? I feel myself being upset at Nate. Wondering why he can't take care of us. I know it's not his fault and that it is satan. I have so much stress on me that it is taking it's toll. We have another baby on the way and we can't even buy the baby diapers. Sorry this is so depressing. It is one of those days. It will be better tomorrow. I just needed to wallow for a bit.

Change Happens

Life is all about change. The change may be bad, and it may be good. Either way, you go through change in your life. It is how we deal with change that matters. I have definitely learned this to be true. A lot of change has happened to our family. I will start at the beginning. Nate got laid off, I got a job. I got fired, Nate got hired. He is making half of what he was so now we have a home modification, creditors calling us, monetary assistance for our house payment, food stamps because we can't afford to eat, doing odd jobs just so we can get our kids clothes and on top of all of this, Heavenly Father thought it would be funny to see how we would handle having another baby. He does have a since of humor.
I have always been the type of girl that likes to have a plan a,b,c for when things go wrong. I like to see an end result and think I can make things happen. I have been humbled I can tell you that. I have not relied on my Heavenly Father like I should have. I have been prideful.
You would not think all of this would be a blessing, but it really has been. Things are not ideal right now or what I think ideal should be, but we have been taken care of. We have been able to feed out children and stay in our home. We have become closer as a family and I have learned AGAIN that I cannot do things on my own. Nate has a job, I am able to get Medicaid for me and the kids. We will have another precious baby to call our own. We are all healthy. So yeah things pretty much suck on the worldly side, but on the side that counts, the spiritual side, we are very prosperous at the moment. And I plan on keeping it that way.
I have very wonderful friends and family and am so grateful for that. Kristina Carter's mom is even concerned about me and I have only met her one time. In that one time I could tell what a wonderful lady she was. So this post is partly for her to let her know things are going great, and partly for me to write it down and say everything will be fine.

THANKS

I just wanted to let our families and our friends know that we appreciate all of their support and love. It's wonderful to have people around you that love you for you and don't judge you. So here's a big THANKS!!!!